Live and learn

Throughout high school I cannot point out one day where I didn’t find myself raising my hand furiously during a class discussion. I always had to be the first one to answer the questions and get them right. I think it was always a sort of competition for me that I enjoyed playing out in my head. The teachers enjoyed the way I reacted to a discussion, but most my fellow classmates would hate that I would want to answer every question. I learned that even though I love to talk and participate, I should also grow and learn to listen as well. For my remainder year in high school I learned to listen to others perspectives and then answer to my fellow peers thoughts. I enjoyed speaking out loud and presenting to my classmates, it was mostly because I was comfortable and knew my entire class. I went to an all girl’s private catholic high school and for the most part it was like hanging out with my sisters every day for four years. Once college came around I was a little nervous to start over. I wondered how my classes would be and the peers I would meet. First year of college went by in a flash; I can hardly remember what it was like, but I still remember being the first person to raise their hand in every class, answering every question with a the mindset of knowing that I’m not alone in the class.

My sophomore year has been a little different from freshman year and high school. During the beginning of school year I was really excited to start off exploring my passion for photography and meeting new classmates. After kicking off first semester I found myself getting tongue-tied, sweaty palms, heart pounding, light headed kind of nervous. I tried to slap myself out of it (not literally), but it wouldn’t work. I tried to think of puppies and other happy thoughts to get my mind off of the anxiety that was building up every time I had to introduce myself to a new group of classmates. I couldn’t understand why I would get so nervous, I knew nothing bad would happen if I stood up in front of a class and talked about myself and who I am, but yet my emotions thought otherwise. I started to hate participating in class; I started to push aside my good ideas because of the anxiety I could not control.

Now it being second semester I think I have realized what it was that has been getting me so nervous. I think it has been just getting comfortable with a group of people that I know nothing about and vice versa. Throughout high school I knew everyone and I was comfortable with sharing my ideas as they formulated in my head. Freshman year I was surrounded with the same group of people in every class it was the same section and I learned to gain confidence when it came to speaking in front of them.

This year it’s completely different. I have six classes and in each class there is not one person that I have another class with. I have had to adjust with the change and I think its been baby steps, but being out of that comfort zone and throwing my ideas into an open class discussion with peers I have never met and know nothing about it good for me. Experiencing new people and the ideas that they bring to the table has been a positive change that I now enjoy and look forward to hearing. Class discussions still get me a little nervous, but it gives me a chance to listen to others, breathe in, gather my thoughts, and respond with a more self-assured answer and being.

I have related much with Paul Lester through his article Learning to Live with Public Speaking Anxiety. Reading about professionals that speak almost everyday and still getting nervous has assured me that I’m not alone in this. I grabbed a lot of information that I will use from his list of suggestions to help with anxiety. My next challenge is to not get nervous with the public introduction during our Wednesday class. I think I should be fine, being nervous might be distraction but I have learned its something that is possible to overcome.