No Easy Way Out

Public speaking is definitely something I struggle with, but only in certain situations. It depends on two factors: my confidence of my knowledge in the topic, and how intimidated I feel by my peers and/or professor. If I have a lot to say, then I am eager to vocalize it, and have no problem doing so. But if I am in a group of people whom I hope to impress or I care how they judge me, then I get nervous and sometimes don’t speak up even if I want to contribute something. I have always wanted to impress my teachers, perhaps more so than my peers; thus intimidating teachers give me the most anxiety.

The first formal speech I remember doing was in my freshman year English class. We were to prepare a five-minute discourse on a theme/aspect of Gabriel Garcia Marquez’ Chronicle of a Death Foretold. I have a vivid memory of this speech, not only of my actual presentation but of preparing for it as well—because I was completely worked up over it. I ended up doing well; my anxiety caused me to be, if anything, over-prepared. I remember rehearsing it over and over, timing myself, tweaking words and phrases each time, and then going over it in my head before it was my turn during class instead of listening to others’ speeches.

That assignment garnered my confidence in public speaking. In fact, overconfidence a couple of times led to being underprepared and suffering embarrassment and a lower grade. Over time, I had learned that preparation was absolutely critical for me to succeed in public speaking, as Lester implies in his article, “Learning to Live With Public Speaking Anxiety.” I would watch people “wing it” in front of the class/audience and succeed—and I would think wistfully about how I am simply not one of those people that can speak so well spontaneously when under pressure. This is the reason I never took debate—I always chickened out because I knew it involved a level of spontaneity under pressure that I could never do.

But I’ve always wanted to be good at that! Can it be learned? I would try to learn by arguing all the time with my brother (who is a great speaker/debater—he should be a lawyer); I always lost the argument. And not because I was wrong! In my head I know I have solid ideas, I’m just not able to vocalize them on the spot. Those debates with my brother always brought about little regrets because I would think of things later that I should have said—that would have won me the argument. Unfortunately life doesn’t often give second chances. Upon reflection, though, I think practicing like that has helped me improve. I still don’t win debates with my brother, but I’m better and I think he sees that sometimes: instead of shooting down every statement I make, he’s started to hear me out more, pay my opinions more respect.

And I think that is why I have tried so hard to become a better speaker: I want people to listen. It’s frustrating when all these ideas and opinions that I am passionate about are imprisoned in my head, so I have practiced trying to vocalize them in a convincing, effective way.

The place in which I got the most practice—and from which I progressed the most in public speaking ability—was in my junior-year history class. My teacher, Mr. Melbach, was the most intimidating teacher I’ve ever had. I revered him so much that I was terrified of saying anything “stupid” in his presence. Not only was it the expectation that we contribute to all daily class discussions, but each class he would randomly pick four or five students to stand up in front of the class and give an “oral.” He would ask the student a question over the material or subject matter and she would have to answer on the spot. Each student would be called upon to do an oral about six times per semester; they made up fifty percent of our grade. He didn’t care whether you were afraid of public speaking or not; in his opinion, it was a necessary skill, and if you just “sucked it up” and did it over and over again you would learn. I think he was right. My orals improved progressively over the year, and my grade reflected it. My classmates showed likewise improvements.

This example is why I disagree with some of Lester’s assertions. He suggests writing out questions/comments and giving them to the teacher after class instead of vocalizing them during the discussion; he recommends preparing questions to bring to the discussion beforehand, or doing virtual discussions via e-mail. While I agree that those methods often lead to higher success rates, I don’t think it prepares us for public speaking under pressure that life will inevitably demand. I always did well when I prepared speeches by rehearsing them again and again, but life certainly does not always give you that opportunity. It is a different—and I would say more valuable—skill to be able to react and speak quickly to unexpected or unknown material. And nothing can teach you to do that except practice.